k i s s i s s i p p i

chelicerae:

Tommy taps his foot impatiently, and refuses to reply when Mary’s mother comes back with a pen and a photograph of Tommy. Billy stares. Mary stares.

The universe has clearly ended, rebuilt itself, and in some wacky series of events, given Tommy some measure of celebrity. Either that or Billy is hallucinating, which he wouldn’t put past this morning’s altogether puzzling proceedings. Whatever is going on, Billy can’t ask because Tommy has signed and is pulling Billy along in his wake, apologizing again and assuring that there is a check in the mail.

Billy manages to wait until they get into the elevator and it starts going down before he asks, “Okay, why is there a maid, why is my apartment filled with little girls who want to turn me into a pile of goo, and why do people keep calling me highness?”

To Tommy’s credit, he looks concerned. Actually, to be honest, he looks slightly constipated, which for some reason Billy translates as concerned, although in all likelihood it could actually be something more akin to constipated. “Did you hit your head?”

A ridiculous passage from my ridiculous big bang. Go forth!

http://archiveofourown.org/works/402237

EVERYBODY GO FUCKING READ THIS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW DO NOT PASS GO DO NOT COLLECT $200 DO NOT GO REFRESH YOUR COFFEE OR MAKE YOURSELF A SANDWICH OR SCRATCH YOUR ASS RUN DO NOT FUCKING WALK OVER TO THIS STORY AND READ THE SHIT OUT OF IT IT IS ONE OF THE BEST, IF NOT THE BEST GODDAMN YOUNG AVENGERS STORY EVER.

/FLIPS EVERY TABLE IN JOY AND THE TABLES TURN INTO CONFETTI THAT IS ALSO JOY

MICI I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU